I saw you yesterday as you began you daily chores. You awoke without kneeling to pray. As a matter of fact, you didn't even bless your meals or pray before going to bed last night. You are so unthankful. I like that about you. I cannot tell you how glad I am that you have not changed your way of living.
Fool, you are mine! Remember, you and I have been going steady for years, and I still don't love you yet. As a matter of fact, I hate you because I hate God. I am only using you to get even with God. He kicked me out of heaven, and I'm going to use you as long as possible to pay Him back.
You see, Fool, GOD LOVES YOU and HE has great plans in store foryou. But you have yielded your life to me, and I'm going to make your life a living hell! That way we'll be together twice. This will really hurt God. Thanks to you, I'm really showing God who's boss in your life, you know, with all of the good times we've had: watching dirty movies, cursing people out, partying, stealing, lying, hypocriting, fornicating, telling dirty jokes, gossiping, backstabbing people, disrespecting adults and those in leadership positions, no respect for the church, bad attitudes.
And SURELY you don't want to give all this up. Come on, Fool, let's burntogether forever. As a matter of fact, I've got some hot plans for us.
By the way, this is just a letter of appreciation from me to you. I'd like to say "THANKS" for letting me use you for most of your foolish life. You are so gullible. I laugh at you. When you are tempted to sin, you give in.
HA HA HA. You make me sick.
And if you hadn't noticed, sin is beginning to take its toll on your life. You look 20 years older. But, hey, I need new blood. So go ahead and teach some children how to sin. All you have to do is smoke, drink, cheat, gamble, gossip, and fornicate. Do all this in the presence of children, and they will do it too. Kids are like that.
Well, Fool, I have to let you go for now. I'll be back in a couple of seconds to tempt you again. If you were smart, you would run somewhere, confess your sins, live for God with what little bit of life that you have left. It's not really my nature to warn anyone, but to be your age and still sinning, it's becoming a bit ridiculous.
And don't get me wrong. I still hate you. IT'S JUST THAT YOU'D MAKE A BETTER FOOL FOR CHRIST.
P.S. And if you really love me, you won't share this letter with anyone.