WHEN THE FOUNDATIONS ARE DESTROYED - PSALM 11

By Pastor Ray Pritchard
Keep Believing Ministries

“When the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Psalm 11:3
 
We don’t know exactly when David wrote this psalm. Many writers connect it to the time when Saul chased David in the wilderness (1 Samuel 23:13-14), but we can't be sure. We know the psalm comes at a desperate moment when his enemies seemed to be closing in on him and his friends encouraged him to run away.
 
The psalm breaks naturally into two parts. The first three verses describe David’s predicament, and the last four verses reveal his deep faith in God despite his circumstances.
 
This psalm is best known for the question in verse 3:“When the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Many preachers have taken this text and used it to show that when the foundations are destroyed, there is nothing the righteous can do. They are left in a hopeless situation.
 
But that is not what David says.
 
When the foundations are destroyed, there are many things the righteous can do, but above everything else, they must first get a right view of God. 
 
It happens that I am writing this sermon in light of the recent Supreme Court ruling that legalized gay marriage in all 50 states. It’s not that we didn’t see it coming. The larger culture has been trending that way for years. Perhaps the shock is the speed of the change. Many believers feel that this decision is a decisive attack on the very foundations of society itself.

I happen to agree with that assessment and believe that hard times are upon us. When a nation celebrates what God condemns, judgment from on high must eventually come. No one can say how or when or where that judgment will come. But as certainly as God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, as certainly as the great empires of history have fallen, even so no nation is promised exemption from judgment.
 
I. Our Commitment
 
As we look at the first three verses that describe David’s predicament, let’s consider the commitment we must make as we face an uncertain future.
 
We Will Not Flee
 
“I have taken refuge in the Lord. How can you say to me, ‘Escape to the mountain like a bird!’” (v. 1)
 
It is not wrong to flee persecution. Jesus told his disciples, “When they persecute you in one town, escape to another” (Matthew 10:23). The brave Christians in the Middle East who face beheading by ISIS are not wrong to flee. But sometimes you can’t escape, and sometimes the Lord calls you to stand and face whatever comes. God’s people are not required to prove their faith by staying in one place when they could save their lives by fleeing to the countryside. After all, David hid from Saul for years until the time came for him to become king.
 
But there are times when we must not flee. Sometimes you have to stand and fight. This is one of those moments. When David’s friends encouraged him to flee the country, he replied, “I have taken refuge in the Lord.” If God cannot protect him, then running to Egypt won’t keep him safe. I apply that same principle to the current moral crisis in America. I have no doubt that things will get worse in the near future. Open hostility toward Christians will increase. Some will lose their jobs because of their convictions. Others will find their careers stymied because of overt anti-Christian hatred. Some will face huge fines (like Aaron and Melissa Klein, the bakers in Oregon who refused to bake a cake for a lesbian wedding) for standing up for their convictions. Churches will face the loss of tax exemption. Increasingly believers will be marginalized and ridiculed. Christians who dare to speak out against the prevailing tide will be vilified on social media. Some will receive threatening phone calls. They will discover that other Christians don’t want to be around them.
 
We will no doubt be disappointed by evangelical leaders who cave to the gay marriage position. Suddenly they will discover biblical support for two men getting married that no Bible scholar had discovered in the previous 2000 years. Their itching ears will lead them away from the Bible into the depths of moral compromise. Professing themselves to be wise, they will become fools.
 
All of this was foretold in the New Testament. Truly the “perilous times” of 2 Timothy 3 are upon us.
 
How will we respond?
Will we run and hide?
Will we flee from the battle?
 
Elizabeth Rundle Charles put the matter this way:

 
“If I profess with the loudest voice and clearest exposition every portion of the truth of God except precisely that little point which the world and the devil are at that moment attacking, I am not confessing Christ, however boldly I may be professing Christianity.  Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved, and to be steady on all the battlefield besides is mere flight and disgrace to him, if he flinches at that one point.”

 
Sometimes you have to stand and fight.
You may lose the battle.
You may be wounded.
You may not survive.
 
We have to stand and fight for what we believe.
We leave the results in God’s hands.’
As they say in the Coast Guard, “You have to go out. You don’t have to come back.”
 
This is no time to flee, and there is no place to go anyway.
 
 We Will Not Fear 
 
“For look, the wicked string the bow; they put the arrow on the bowstring to shoot from the shadows at the upright in heart” (v. 2).
 
In this case David is being quite literal. At one point Saul tried to kill David with a spear. Later he sent his army after him. The arrows they were shooting were not metaphorical. When those arrows hit, they drew blood.
 
It’s always good to know what you are up against. That way you won’t be surprised when trouble comes.
 
We Will Not Fret
 
“When the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” (v. 3)
 
The word translated “foundations” refers to the moral and spiritual underpinnings of any society. What can the righteous do when the foundations crumble beneath them?

Do they quit?
Do they despair?
Do they run away?
Do they become bitter?
Do they resort to violence?

For Christians in the Middle East, this is not a rhetorical question. What do you do when your community is destroyed by ISIS?
 
Christians in America now face that question in a completely different way.  The foundations are being destroyed before our eyes. When you see the White House lit up in rainbow colors, you know we are seeing Romans 1 come true in our day.
 
What will the righteous do?
What can we do?
 
What do you do when the foundations are destroyed? Answer: It all depends on how big your God is.

If you’ve got a small God, you’ve got a big problem.
If you’ve got a big God, you'll okay even when the bad guys seem to be winning.
 
II. Our Confidence
 
Notice what David doesn’tsay. He doesn’t call for the army to mount an offensive. He doesn’t say, “Let’s run for the hills.” He doesn’t raise money for a big political campaign. In modern terms, he doesn’t organize a social media campaign.
 
For David (and for us) it’s not about the what; it’s about thewho. To be sure, tactics matter. There is certainly a time to go to war to protect your nation. And we’ve seen clearly that it matters greatly who occupies the White House. There can be no doubt that social media played a big part in the recent changes in American attitudes about gay marriage.
 
But in times like these, we need God first and foremost. When the foundations are being hacked away, we’ve got to go back to the First Principles. That’s what David does in verses 4-7.
 
God’s Presence
 
“The Lord is in His holy temple; the Lord’s throne is in heaven” (v. 4).
 
This is David’s way of saying God is everywhere. He’s on the earth (in his holy temple), but his throne is in heaven. I admit that it doesn’t always look that way. When you read the headlines, it can seem as if the whole world is spinning out of control. Lately we’ve been reminded that ISIS is planning attacks on America. With the rising spiral of violence in our world and our own slippery slide into the pit of moral corruption, it’s easy to conclude that God either is not on his throne or he doesn’t care what happens on the earth or perhaps there is no God at all.
 
But right at this point we see the fundamental difference between a believer and an unbeliever. We believe there is a God who sits on the throne of the universe, a God who is absolutely sovereign, a God whose ways are far above our ways, a God to whom the whole human race must someday give account.
 
Was God shocked by the murders in Charleston?
Was God caught by surprise by the crisis in Greece?
Was God unprepared for the Supreme Court decision?
 
The answer to all such questions is a resounding no. Our God is never surprised, never asleep, never startled by evil, never shocked by natural disasters, and never astonished by Supreme Court decisions.
 
I have been thinking lately of what one of my Greek teachers in seminary liked to say. Dr. S. Lewis Johnson remarked that the hardest verse in the Bible to believe is Genesis 1:1, “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” “If you can believe that,” Dr. Johnson said, “you won’t have any trouble with the rest of the Bible.” For a long time the truth of that statement eluded me. I couldn’t get it because I had never really thought about Genesis 1:1 in its larger context. But it is hugely important that the Bible begins with a declaration, not an argument. The Bible simply declares that God is, and that he created all things. Twenty years ago E. V. Hill preached a powerful sermon at a Promise Keepers gathering in Chicago. In his own unforgettable style, he preached for 40 minutes on just two words: “God is.” He said it over and over again. He whispered it and he shouted it. He illustrated it, declared it, proclaimed it, and dared anyone to deny it. You wouldn’t think you could preach that long on just two words but he did, and when you think about it, you could preach a lot longer when your topic is as profound as “God is.” Once you get it settled in your heart that “God is,” a lot of other problems will be solved as well.
 
Perhaps we should keep Isaiah 6 in mind. That magnificent passage begins with the words “In the year that King Uzziah died.” That note is important because Uzziah was one of the best kings Judah ever had. When he died, the nation was plunged into turmoil. A golden age in Israel’s history was drawing to a close. Would the people continue to walk with God or would they return to idolatry? In that fateful moment, Isaiah came face to face with the living God. He says it this way: “I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple” (Isaiah 6:1).
 
Where is God? He’s not nervously pacing heaven wondering, “Who will I get to replace Uzziah?” Not at all. At that critical moment, God is where he has always been. Seated on his throne.
 
God’s Judgment
 
“His eyes watch; He examines everyone.The Lord examines the righteous and the wicked. He hates the lover of violence. He will rain burning coals and sulfur on the wicked; a scorching wind will be their portion”(vv. 4-6).
 
No one gets away with anything.
 
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said it this way: “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” Though the wheels of God grind slowly, they grind exceeding small. Be sure your sin will find you out.
 
These words of David remind us that there is a solemn and eternal difference between the righteous and the wicked. That difference is sometimes easy to see in this life, sometimes not so easy. Suppose you go to a football game and look up in the stands. It’s easy to tell who is rooting for the Bears and who is rooting for the Packers. The fans let you know which side they are on. But spiritual allegiance isn’t always easy to determine. Suppose you go to a cemetery and walk around. In that quiet, peaceful setting, saints and sinners rest side by side, six feet under the green grass. You can’t tell the righteous from the wicked simply by reading the gravestones.
 
But God knows.
That’s the whole point of these verses.
 
God sees everything.
He reads every heart.
He knows every thought.
He hears the words whispered in the darkness.
He knows us better than we know ourselves.
 
A day of judgment is coming for those who mock God and reject his Word. In an image that reminds us of Sodom and Gomorrah, God promises to rain burning coals and sulfur on the wicked. The scorching wind of judgment will wipe the smile off their faces.
 
We dare not water down these solemn words.
 
On June 26, the day the Supreme Court handed down its verdict, Chuck Swindolltweeted these words:
 

Disobedience to God’s commands always results in serious consequences—eventually.

 
God’s Deliverance
 
“For the Lord is righteous; He loves righteous deeds. The upright will see His face” (v. 7).
 
The Lord stands up for those who stand up for him.
He takes the side of those who side with him.
 
David stands on the peak of faith and says, “Though the battle may be hot and we may be surrounded, God will win in the end.” This is the true position of those who believe God and his Word. I have told and retold the story of Richard John Neuhaus, founder of First Thingsmagazine, and a great defender of the moral and spiritual values of the Christian faith. At one point he was on his way to a speaking engagement. When he arrived at the airport, the man who picked him up was bemoaning the sorry state of affairs in American culture and how bad the times were. After listening for a while, Father Neuhaus finally replied:

“These may be bad times, but they are the only times we are given. And despair is a mortal sin.”

 
He’s right on all counts. These are bad times because our leaders are spiritually corrupt and morally blind. But why should we despair? If God is on the throne, then we should rejoice because these are our times. We don’t have to ask, “What will America be like in a hundred years?” The great good news is, I don’t have to stay alive for another hundred years because I serve a God who is eternal. He will still be on the job long after I go down to the grave.That’s David’s final answer to the many perplexing problems of this life. Those who know and love the Lord will see his face. We will behold the Lord in the most personal way possible.

Today we walk by faith.
Today we stumble along through this life.
Today we struggle.
 
But today is not the last day.There is a better day coming for the people of God when all will be made right. Between now and then we will have many days when the foundations seem to be crumbling around us and the wicked rise up and threaten us.
 
But the wicked will not have the last word. Those who scoff at the Lord and his Word will be consumed with the fire of God’s judgment. Between now and then we move forward by faith, believing that out trials are sent by God to improve us, not to destroy us.
 
Take the long view because we’re in this for the long haul.Let’s go back to that question in verse 3 for a moment:
 

“When the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?”

 
Make no mistake. The foundations are being destroyed right in front of our very eyes. Long-held moral values are being jettisoned in favor of a new morality that is really no morality at all.
 
What can the righteous do?
 
I have no political advice to offer even though I’m in favor of political action. Christians need to take their convictions with them into the voting booth. We ought to write letters, speak out, refuse to be intimidated, support good candidates and run for office ourselves. I’m not in the “roll over and play dead” category.
 
But I’m not going to end on that note because David doesn’t speak of  political solutions in Psalm 11. When the foundations are being destroyed, we need a fresh view of God and a long view of history. God who sees all things will judge the wicked and bring them down in the end, and the righteous will see God’s face.
 
How then should we live? As I ponder that question, I keep coming back to the same conclusion. I can summarize it in three words. We need .  . .
 
Tenacious winsome courage.
 
Tenacious means we don’t give up. 
Winsome means we face life with a smile, not a scowl.
Courage means we do what needs to be done.
 
Tenacious means we keep on keeping on.
Winsome means we don’t lose our temper and say something stupid.
Courage means we take our stand for the truth.
 
Tenacious means we keep on praying.
Winsome means we are cheerful when others attack us.
Courage means we do hard things without complaining.
 
Tenacious means we love people anyway.
Winsome means we display grace under pressure.
Courage means we speak up instead of wimping out.
 
We need all three qualities together to face what life throws at us. So let's wrap up this message with a good prayer for all of us: 
 
“Lord, grant me tenacious winsome courage as I go through this day. When I am tempted to give up, help me to keep going. Grant me a cheerful spirit when things don’t go my way. And give me courage to do whatever needs to be done. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

DATING: WHEN WORDS AND CHOICES CLASH

by Dan Phillips

Note: Recently, I linked to this nearly four-year-old post in the body of another. Many had not seen it first time 'round, though it kicked off some waves in other bloggy locations at the time. The subject remains current, and I need to dip into the well once and maybe twice this week here. So here 'tis once again, lightly edited.

[This is yet another one of my occasional serieses. In this, I write for our readers who are yoots, for their own benefit; or for parents, to share with their yoots. It'll also work for pastors, especially yoot pastors. Previous examples include A word to Christian yoots, and Why God gave you parents, etc.]

Coarse but pointed joke-that-you've-all-heard-anyway alert in 3... 2... 1....

So this iconic guy's talking with an iconic girl, and asks whether she'd be willing to engage in carnal acts for $1 million.

She considers, shrugs, says, "For a million dollars? I guess."

"Would you do it for $5?" he follows up.

She is shocked, and deeply offended. "What do you think I am?" she rages.

His classic retort: "Oh, we've already established what you are. Now we're just haggling over price."

And now, a moment's pause while Pyro readers wonder where this could possibly be going. Play the overture from Handel's Messiah in your head. Daaaa.... da-daaaa....

Now, why is that joke funny to most folks? It's funny because of the surprising clash. In the punch-line, the woman is deeply offended, because she wants to say that her virtue is precious, and he's cheapening it with his $5 suggestion. But the man counters that he already knows her virtue not to be beyond price to her. She can be bought. What she says now is one thing; what she has already said, another.

So you, unmarried Christian reader, start dating an unbeliever. What are you saying?

"What?!" you splutter. "We haven't had sex!"

This isn't about sex. I'm asking what you're saying, what message your choice is communicating.

To whatever degree you're concerned at all about this person's soul, you're trying to tell her/him about Christ, right? You're trying to tell this person that Christ is the One in whom all things hold together (Colossians 1:17), the source and reason for all the universe (Colossians 1:16), the most important celebrity anywhere, ever (Philippians 2:9-11). You want to persuade him that Christ is Lord of all. And you want him/her to believe that Jesus is all these things, and that He is all these things to you.

But you've already told him that Christ isn't all that. You're just haggling over price.

(Or am I assuming too much? Are there some who are not even concerned whether the people they date are or are not saved? In such cases, the kindest I can say is that such are clueless, loveless, and faithless, and they really need to reconsider the big question, for themselves.)

Let me approach the issue another way.

Would you date a child molestor? Oh, of course not. Instant deal-breaker. Thief, murderer? No and no. Rapist? Never. Those are really bad things.

But not as bad as being an enemy of God (Proverbs 15:9; Ephesians 2:3)? I think we have some seriously skewed priorities.

See, if you are in a dating relationship with someone who doesn't love Christ, you've already said the Christ-issue isn't the issue to you. Her looks, his job, the way she treats you, his sense of humor — whatever; these things matter more to you than Christ does.

You want this person to believe that he is a sinner, under God's wrath, and deserving His judgment. You want him to know that his righteous deeds are as filthy rags, that everything he can produce is not enough for God.

But you've already communicated, by your choice, that what he has is enough for you. That you and he share enough values, goals, aspirations, and affections to create (or even consider) an exclusive and intimate relationship.

See? You've already dealt a death-blow to your own credibility. You really might as well stop talking. Your priorities, your choices, have drowned out your words (cf. the principle of Titus 1:16).

I would think this would be clear-cut to any Biblically-instructed Christian, and am constantly surprised to find that it apparently isn't. But let's extend it a bit.

If someone can credibly check the "Christian"-box, are you all-done? All that remains is attractiveness and basic compatibility, then go buy the dress and rent the tux, chapel, preacherguy?

Well, yes and no. As far as a moral issue, yes. Since the Bible doesn't teach a third "will" of God, by which we (for instance) must discern mystically and ookily what one girl/guy in all the world is The Chosen One for us, basically we may morally marry any (A) available and (B) willing (C) Christian (D) of the opposite sex (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:39). (Sad I have to add all those qualifiers, but here we are.)

But what of wisdom? I heard somewhere it was the principle thing (Proverbs 4:7, CSB).

Here is where churches often depress me. I know of a ladies' group that considered studying The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace. The idea was rejected, because they didn't want single women to "feel excluded."

My wife and I both thought, "Huh? They're exactly who should be studying this!" The single man/woman is exactly the person who should be looking long and hard at all that marriage entails, before making that next-to-unconditional commitment.

Consider this illustration:

What would you think of a man who spends his free time going from car dealer to car dealer, checking out luxury cars that he will never buy?

He takes them out on a long "test" drive. He floors the accelerator, he jams down the brakes. He swerves around sharp turns, cranks the stereo, kicks the tires, slams the doors, asks question after question about the engine, the wiring, the electronics. He talks to the mechanic. He makes the salesman invest much of his day, and then goes through the whole process of credit checks and dickering about price and bargaining...

...then airily says "Wow, that was fun! Thanks!"

And leaves.

Next day: rinse, and repeat. Another dealer, another car. Another hapless sales staff.

What would you think of a guy like that? Selfish lout, right? Cruel? Jerk? Immature, thoughtless, loveless, graceless, without compassion? World revolves around him? Other people are his toys?

I totally agree.

So what of the person who's dating someone (s)he knows (s)he has no business considering as a spouse?

Brother, you know Ephesians 5:25-33, 1 Peter 3:7, all that? You know that God will call you to love, cherish, serve, protect, and lead your wife. You know you will need to provide for her, honor her exclusively from your heart, and with your body. You will be obliged to lead her in holiness, guard her, lay down your very life for her. You know that a bad choice will have very rough consequences (Proverbs 12:4b; 21:9; 25:24; 27:15-16).

But what if the girl you're dating is vastly more mature than you, or vastly less? What if she is disrespectful, rebellious, and sees no need of a leader? What if she particularly does not respect you, is constantly correcting and bossing you? What if you absolutely dread the very thought of having to cross her will, to any degree? What if disagreements invariably become arguments, and go on and on? How could you put on her a yoke she so obviously is not ready to take? How could you subject your future children to such a household?

What, you never thought of that? Then what have you been thinking about?

Sister, stop nodding for a second. What of you? You know Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Peter 3:1-7, and all that? You know, do you, that God calls you to respect your husband from your very heart, in the way you think and act? You know that, under God, your husband will be the human authority in your life? That you will be obliged before God to love him, respect him, subordinate yourself to him? That you will be his helper, called to aid him in fulfilling what God has called him to?

So what if the man you're dating does not have what it takes to lead you? What if you find yourself constantly telling him what to do? What if he knows God less well than you, because he knows the Bible less than you? What if he is not prepared to lead you on, because he hasn't even caught up with you yet? What if your spirit is independent, and the thought of subordinating yourself to this man is either unthinkable (because he is so unready), or barely tolerable (because he is so passive and pliable)?

In either case, how can you be so cruel as to lead this woman or man on, letting him or her give this portion of his life to you in exclusion to others, when you know you have no business considering a future with him or her?

Is that loving (Matthew 7:12)?

"But he's started reading his Bible now!" "She's started going to Bible Study!" Great. But know this: what is most telling about another person is what he or she is before taking any interest in you. That indicates her or his heart.

If deathbed conversions are "iffy," dating conversions are doubly so.

This long post could be even longer, but I'll (almost) close with a few summary questions.

Would you consider marrying someone who never, ever washed his body? Yuck! No way, right? What if (s)he never, ever had his heart and conscience washed (Hebrews 9:14; 10:22)? Evidently yes? Hmm.

Would you consider marrying someone who never listened to a word you said? No way. What if (s)he never listened to a word God said (Proverbs 28:4, 9; Romans 10:17)? Evidently yes? Hmm.

Would you let someone drive who didn't care much for traffic laws or signs? Not likely. But you'd consider marrying a man who has no Christian walk, or had none before he got interested in you? Or a woman who hasn't yet taken to heart what God says about her and her role? Evidently yes? Hmm.

And in neither case, if you'd not consider marrying, why date? Just a harmless test-drive?

REAL-LIVE FINAL THOUGHT: I know exactly what some readers will think. They will think, "Well, my (friend/relative) married an unbeliever, and later the Lord saved him, and that worked out great! So I'm just trusting God to save/mature/sanctify my unsaved/immature/rebellious little dew-drop!"

To that, two responses:

First, so if someone sins or does something stupid, and it works out all right, you should do the same? Dude. Seriously. Grow up.

Second, as long as we're trading stories, I've heard stories about people who've pointed real, live, actual, loaded guns straight at other people and pulled the trigger, and the gun jammed. Neat, huh? So if God wants someone to live, he can jam a gun, right?

And if you loaded a pistol and went out to see who God wants to live, and who He wants to die... would that be a good thing?

Or stupid, bad, reckless, insane, and sinful?

Kid, life's not a game. Hasty decisions cast long shadows.

For every reason in this world and the next, wise up.

SHOULD I START A RELATIONSHIP WITH A NON-CHRISTIAN?

Written by  Warren Peel in Answers, Christian Living, Marriage 

Mum’s Dead

Mercy and the Westminster Publick Directory of Worship

Last night I was speaking to a Christian Union meeting at our local university about dating and marriage. One of the perennial problems that many young people fall into is getting into relationships with non-Christians. I was exhorting these students to realise that going out with a non-Christian is not an option for the believer. Because dating is a stepping stone to marriage, what the Bible says about whom we may marry applies to whom we may date as well. 1 Corinthians 7.39: A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But even if someone refuses to accept that this command applies to pre-marriage relationships, at best it is incredibly foolish and unloving for a Christian to date a non-Christian. Here are a few points to reinforce this…

1. Dating a non-Christian is incredibly short-sighted. What happens if he doesn’t become a Christian? Even if you can persuade yourself that it is somehow OK to date an unbeliever, you can’t kid yourself that’s it’s OK to marry him/her unless you rip 1 Corinthians 7.39 out of the Bible. So at what point will you pull the plug on the relationship if the boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t become a Christian? After a month? After a year? When he proposes but still hasn’t become a Christian? You’re only storing up hurt for both of you. It’s an incredibly unloving, unkind thing to. What if he says, ‘OK then, I’ll become a Christian.’ How do you know he means it? How does he know he means it? It’s really tantamount to emotional blackmail, because what you’re saying at the end of the day is, ‘If you don’t become a Christian, this relationship will have to end.’

2. Many young people fool themselves into thinking they will be a good witness to the one they’re dating, but if you are truly serious about seeing that person come to Christ, then going out with them is probably about the worst thing you can possibly do. For one thing, you’re teaching them that obeying God’s word carefully and comprehensively isn’t all that important if it gets in the way of something you want to do. But inevitably it is going to confuse their motives—it’s going to be hard for them to separate their interest in the gospel from their interest in you. In most cases this is just a pious-sounding excuse Christians use to ease their conscience as they do what they want to do. God may graciously bring that unbeliever to himself, but it will be in spite of your presumption rather than because of it.

3. Almost invariably what happens in practice is that the Christian is led astray by the relationship. Their zeal and enthusiasm evaporate. It’s hard enough for our young people to keep themselves sexually pure while going out with another Christian who is committed to honouring God with their body before marriage; with a non-Christian this is going to be much more difficult.

4. Beginning a relationship with a non-Christian betrays a failure to realise how utterly different a Christian is from a non-Christian. When two people decide to start a relationship, it’s normally because they share the same values and worldview. But you can’t get two more profoundly different people than a believer and an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6.14-7.1). All the things you have in common are purely superficial and can’t possibly compensate for the huge gulf between you spiritually. Think about it like this. Could you go out with someone who really doesn’t like your family? (This illustration assumes that you like your family!). They might be very polite about it—it’s not that they go around cursing your family up and down, they just don’t want anything to do with them. They don’t ever want to meet them or spend time with them. They don’t really like you seeing them. They don’t want you to talk about them (‘Look, if you want to like your family that’s OK for you, but don’t try to shove them down my throat!’). Could you ever realistically consider marrying someone who thought like that? Why would you even start a relationship with someone who thought like that—who despises these people who are so precious and important to you? Would all the other things you have in common with this person outweigh the fact that they hate your family? Well, if you wouldn’t consider dating someone who didn’t like your earthly family, how much less should you think of dating someone who despises your heavenly Father who matters far more to you even than your family here?

16 Ways to Find a Wife According to the Bible

As a pastor, over the years I had my fair share of people approach me to find out if we were a "courtship" church or a "dating" church. The people invariably would tell me that their approach was "the biblical way." I eventually become leery of such claims given that the Bible does not say much about how to find a wife, or does it? Perhaps you've seen this list floating around the world-wide-web, but it's worth reviewing because it makes a very important point. So here it is, 16 ways to find a wife according to the Bible:

1) Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. (Deut. 21:11-13)
2) “Lay hold on” a virgin who is not betrothed to another man, and "know" her, but afterwards pay her father a sum of money. Then she’s yours. (Deut. 22:28-29)
3) Find a prostitute and marry her. (Hosea 1:1-3)
4) Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock.--Moses (Ex. 2:16-21)
5) Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal.--Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
6) Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife.--Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
7) Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you a rib.--Adam (Gen. 2:19-24)
8) Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of toil for a wife.--Jacob (Gen. 29:15-30)
9) Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife.--David (1 Sam. 18:27)
10) Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone.--Cain (Gen. 4:16-17)
11) Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest.--Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
12) When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.”--Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
13) Kill any husband and take HIS wife. (Prepare to lose four sons though.)--David (2 Sam. 11)
14) Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just a good idea, it’s the law!)--Onan and Boaz (Deut. or Lev., example in Ruth)
15) Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity.--Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
16) A wife?--Paul (1st Corinthians, chapter 7)

Obviously, this list was written with humor in mind, and some of these "ways," are not prescriptive but descriptive of the sinful ways that God's people have conducted themselves in the past--they are in no way exemplary. But this does demonstrate an important point--people often want the Bible to say certain things, such as how to find a spouse and marry, but they ignore portions of Scripture that don't fit their paradigm. The Bible has more to say about arranged marriages, for example, than it does "courtship" or dating. So then, how do we proceed?
We have to realize that the Bible does not speak to every issue we will face in life. Just ask Solomon, who had to use wisdom when the two prostitutes came to him claiming to both be the mother of one child. We must follow those things that God has given us. In all of our relationships we have the obligation to exercise the fruit of the Spirit and not mistreat anyone, that is especially true for a prospective spouse. We also have the clear biblical command that a Christian is free to marry whomever he or she chooses, so long as the prospective mate is "in the Lord" (1 Cor. 7.39). But in the end, choosing a spouse calls for wisdom.
The Bible does not give us a specific means by which we can find spouses. Some might be introduced by family or friends. Some might cultivate a letter-writing relationship (or as we might more commonly find it, e-mail, or some form of social media). In some cultures the thought of dating or courting is out of the question. I once walked in on one of my office mates in grad school--he was a Christian training for the ministry in Japan. He was intently reading a file; it looked like a personnel file. Out of curiousity I asked him what he was reading. He told me it was a file on a young woman that his father had sent him. His family, sight unseen (except for a few photos in the file) was arranging his marriage. I was stunned, but nevetheless made aware that godly Christians don't all do things the same way. I.e., just because it's American and Christians do it doesn't mean its biblical or the only way.
The greater doctrinal point here is that in the pursuit of finding a spouse, we must be mindful two things: (1) that we are mindful of God's revealed will in the moral law--we should not violate it in word, thought, or deed; and (2) Christian liberty--where God has spoken, we are bound, but where he has not spoken we are free. We are not bound by the commandments of men. This means that godly Christians may differ in how they live their lives, but it doesn't mean that one is holier than another because she dates and doesn't court.
We should also note that in its collective history, the church has never addressed the issue in its creeds or confessions about how to find a spouse. Perhaps this should tell us that it is a matter of Christian liberty and that in the end, we should rely on God's grace, wisdom, prayer, and godly counsel rather than make claims that the Bible has never made.

SINGLENESS : A PEEK AT GOD's PERSPECTIVE

By Myron Horst

We see things in our life from a narrow perspective, and it is often difficult for us to understand all that God is allowing to happen. Someone standing 10 feet behind us can see a much bigger perspective than we can. They can see things we can't. They can also see some of our blindspots. God sees an even bigger and clearer perspective as He sees all of our past, present, and future all at once. God invites us to get a peek from His perspective.
God tells us that those who run into His strong tower are safe (Proverbs 18:10). God's tower not only provides safety but it elevates us above the problem at hand, and we are able to see it from a different perspective. From God's high tower we are able to get a peek from His perspective at the situation. Part of God's strong tower is the Bible. As we read, study and meditate upon it we begin to see life's situations from God's perspective. It is interesting to look at marriage and singleness from God's high tower, it gives us a bigger and clearer picture.

How marriage is temporary and is only a thing of this earth

 

An important thing that God shows us from His high tower is that marriage is only a thing of this earth and it is temporary. Marriage ends at the death of one of the marriage partners and does not continue in heaven. Jesus tells us in Matthew 22:30 that "At the resurrection people will neither marry or be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven."
Because marriage is only a thing of this earth it needs to be viewed much in the same way as other earthly possessions. Marriage is not something we can take with us when we die. Like any other earthly possession, marriage is not required for our present happiness or fulfillment. Marriage should not be one's ultimate goal in life or it becomes an idol.

How marriage and family can be idolatry

 

We see from God's high tower that marriage and the family can become idolatry. God tells us that whenever we put anything ahead of Him it is Idolatry (Idol worship). When either singles or married persons put the focus of their life on marriage and family ahead of Jesus it is wrong. There is a danger with the multitude of matchmaking web sites, the multitude of books on marriage and the family, programs such as Focus on the Family, and comments by friends and relatives implying one should get married, that we put too much emphasis on marriage rather than on Jesus.
What does all this about family idolatry have to do with singleness? It helps us put marriage in its proper perspective. As Christians we need to see the value of a person being single in the Kingdom of God.

People serving God in significant ways in the Bible who were single

 

From God's tower we see that there were a number of singles in the Bible who had a significant impact on the lives of God's people. There were probably more who were single but the Bible does not state their marital status.

Persons who were single:

• Daniel
• Jesus
• Shadrach
• Paul
• Meshach
• John the Baptist
• Obednego
• Philip's 4 daughters
• Elijah
• Elisha
• Jeremiah

Persons who were single until later in life:

• Isaac -- 40 years old
• Jacob -- 80+
• Esau -- 40
• Moses -- 40+
• Anna -- She was a widow for 84 years. She served the Lord with fastings and prayer day and night.

Errors in singleness

 

From God's high tower we see some errors that can occur in singleness and avoid doing the same things.
One error is filling life with busyness that has no eternal reward:
"Then I returned, and I saw vanity under the sun. There is one alone, and there is not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet is there no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither saith he, For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This is also vanity, yea, it is a sore travail" Eccl 4:7,8. True joy is found in serving others. When a single person's focus is only on themselves and they have no one that is receiving benefit from their life, it is vanity. When a person is married and has a family, there is their spouse and children whom they can benefit spiritually, emotionally, and financially. However, marriage is only one channel of benefiting others, and being married does not guarantee that one will benefit the life of another. This is especially true in a marriage damaged by divorce. There are many, many other channels available for a single person to bless the lives of others. This is especially true for a Christian who is single. Ask God to show you His purpose for your life. He will show you.
Another error is forbidding to marry. Over the years there have been a number of groups that have forbidden their people to marry. God says this is wrong. Note that God says that forbidding people to marry is a doctrine of Satan and is one of his lies: "Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils; speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their conscience seared with a hot iron; forbidding to marry, and commanding to abstain from meats which God hath created to be received with thanksgiving of them which believe and know the truth." (1 Timothy 4:1-3)
Another error that God says that singles can make is to be lazy, gossips, and prying into other people's business. Speaking about younger widows God says: "And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not." (1 Timothy 5:13) An old sayings states that "Idleness is the devil's workshop." Our focus should not be on just being busy, or we become a workaholic. Rather our focus needs to be on carrying out the purpose God has for our lives, and the things He has called us to do.

How marriage is not God's plan for everyone

 

From God's tower, or His perspective, we see that there are reasons and advantages He gives for some people not to get married. For some it may mean delaying marriage. For others it may mean never marrying.

1. It is better not to get married than to marry a contentious or angry spouse. Proverbs 21:9 "It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house." See also Pr.21:19; Pr. 19:13; 25:24; 27:15 There are many people who wished they had known and followed this advice rather get married and go through what they have.
2. Jesus said that some will not get married for the kingdom of heaven's sake. Matthew 19:10-12 "His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. (11) But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. (12) For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it." These verses also apply to divorced persons not remarrying for the kingdom of heaven's sake because it is sin.
3. In times of distress, or persecution, it is good not get married 1 Corinthians 7:26 "I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be."
4. Because the time is short until Christ's return. 1 Corinthians 7:29 "But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;"
5. To give freedom to serve the Lord without distraction. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35 "But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: (33) But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. (34) There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (35) And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction."
6. Because a widow will be happier unmarried. 1 Corinthians 7:40 "But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God."
7.  

Blessings that singles receive from the Lord

 

God also promises singles blessings for serving Him:

• The blessing of an everlasting name - they will have everlasting impact in God's Kingdom. Isaiah 54:1-5 "Sing, O barren, thou that didst not bear; break forth into singing, and cry aloud, thou that didst not travail with child: for more are the children of the desolate than the children of the married wife, saith the LORD. (2) Enlarge the place of thy tent, and let them stretch forth the curtains of thine habitations: spare not, lengthen thy cords, and strengthen thy stakes; (3) For thou shalt break forth on the right hand and on the left; and thy seed shall inherit the Gentiles, and make the desolate cities to be inhabited. (4) Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. (5) For thy Maker is thine husband; the LORD of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called.
  An example of this is Daniel.
• God will bless with more children than a married wife -The Lord is the husband. Is. 54:1-6 The promise of this blessing is repeated in the New Testament: "Rejoice thou barren that bearest not; break forth and cry, thou than travailest not: for the desolate hath many more children than she which hath a husband" Gal. 4:27
• God promises those who have chosen not to be married for the kingdom of heaven's sake a greatly multiplied blessing, not just a substitute for marriage. Matthew 19:27-30 "Then answered Peter and said unto him, Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee; what shall we have therefore? (28) And Jesus said unto them, Verily I say unto you, That ye which have followed me, in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye also shall sit upon twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. (29) And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive a hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life. (30) But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first."

From this peek at singleness from God's high tower, we see singleness in a different light than what the perspective of many of those around us is. We see that singleness has a purpose, multiplied blessings, and great value in the Kingdom of Jesus Christ. We also see that marriage is only a thing of this earth, and that there are reasons that God gives for some not to marry. So when you are feeling down, or need direction for your life, run into God's strong tower (get alone with Him and ask Him to show you some direction from the Bible) and get a bigger perspective of your life.